Seven pop stars who would definitely survive in a horror movie: Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and more

If horror movies have taught us anything, it's that not everyone gets out alive. It’s the ones with strength, resilience, agility and intelligence that always make it out in the end. 

Now, let’s imagine the setting for a horror film was the modern-day music industry. What pop stars would be amongst those who outsmart and escape the killer? 

Here are the seven stars Music News Blitz writer Evie Scorggie is betting on.

1. Lady Gaga

I think we all knew as soon as we read the title that Lady Gaga would be top of this list. If I had to place my money on anyone surviving, it’s Gaga without a shadow of a doubt.

Gaga thrives on chaos. If anything, she would probably befriend the monster, then psychologically intimidate it into submission.

And let’s be real, she’d probably then release a collab alongside it.

She’s already been in love with Judas. What’s to stop history from repeating itself?

2. Rihanna

Riri is next on my list. She’s smart, she’s resourceful, and more importantly, she’s powerful.

Rihanna has always embodied the “if you can do it, I can do it better” attitude, and that’s the kind of resilience you need when running from a killer monster. Riri cannot be rattled by anything.

And if all else fails, she can just entice the villain with her sweet charm. After all, she’s been friends with the monster once before. Why not try her luck again?

3. Taylor Swift

Now hear me out on this one, because nobody would immediately think of Taylor Swift as a horror survivor, but I’m going to tell you why nothing could take her down.

Taylor is a mastermind - pardon the pun. She is a known strategist, planting easter eggs and clues for her music sometimes years in advance.

She has calculated in everything she does and loves leaving mathematical puzzles for others to attempt and struggle to decipher.

Taylor would almost immediately pick up on the killer's patterns and figure out a way to outsmart them.

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4. Doja Cat

Doja Cat has always been quite the unpredictable artist. We never really know what to expect from her next.

If we translate this persona into horror film survival, most monsters would expect their victims to scream, to cry, to run away. I don’t think Doja would do that.

I think Doja would laugh, I think she’d flirt, she’d maybe even give the killer a little wink. They would be utterly bamboozled and be thrown completely off their game, giving her just enough time to figure out her escape route.

Plus, she already describes herself as “a demon lord.” Surely a monster wouldn’t be stupid enough to even attempt to go up against something like that.

5. Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus is chaotic, she’s fearless, she’d kick down that scary basement door whilst others run from it. 

Her unhinged, wildcard energy would protect her, alongside her incredible stamina, proven by her live shows.

You can just see it now, the killer standing in a dark doorway when all of a sudden the camera shifts, and there you see a slow motion shot of Miley swinging in on a wrecking ball, chainsaw in one hand, bottle of beer in the other.

That monster doesn’t stand a single chance against retired Hannah Montana.

6. Sia

Sia isn’t just known for her music, but also for her iconic wig. She hides herself under her dramatic hairstyles in public, with very few knowing what she truly looks like. 

Now, if she can hide from the vulturous LA paparazzi that easily, then a killer stands absolutely no chance of spotting her.

I guarantee Sia would find the most impressive hiding spot that nobody would think of, and ride out the whole movie until the monsters are taken care of. What can’t be found can’t be killed.

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7. Nicki Minaj

Let’s be honest, no killer would even try.

The woman has an entire rap describing what she would do as a monster herself. 

“First things first, I’ll eat your brains, then I’ma start rocking gold teeth and fangs”.

I don’t know about you, but I personally wouldn’t want to be the villain in this movie when I run into Nicki Minaj as she’s morphing into her alter ego. I’d be out of that door quicker than you can say “boom, ba-doom, boom-boom, ba-doom, boom, bass”.

Conclusion

Personally, I’m way too scared to sit through an entire horror film. However if this was the cast, I would definitely give it a good go. 

I wonder what monster would even try to break into the house of such powerful artists.

Now, to wrap this up, I would just like to point out something completely unintentional and genuinely a complete accident, but what do you notice about all the surviving pop stars? #GirlPower

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